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Smiles and Grins Humor

Believe It Or Not

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  1. Criticism is one thing most of us think is more blessed to give than to receive.
  2. Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
  3. Children keep a family together, especially when one can't get a babysitter.
  4. Being poor has one distinct advantage. It doesn't take much to improve your situation.
  5. I'm a mental tourist. My mind wanders.
  6. The kindergarten teacher has a problem: either she lost a child or one snowsuit came to school empty.
  7. Many a live wire would be dead without connections.
  8. Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore.
  9. A pessimist is an optimist on the way home from the track.
  10. The honeymoon's over when you're no longer drinking to one another, but because of.
  11. You can tell you're getting old when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
  12. A man seldom knows what he can do until he tries to undo what he did.
  13. Did you hear about the workaholic who was charged with resisting a rest?
  14. This year about the only thing not enriched, fortified, or reinforced is money.
  15. Remember when "a thirst for the classics" meant you craved great literature and not a soft drink?
  16. The knowledge that a secret exists is half the secret.
  17. You know you've reached middle age when your weight lifting consists solely of standing up.
  18. Manners are loud noises you don't make when you're eating soup.
  19. We have a really small apartment. When the kitchen isn't being used, it folds right into the wall.
  20. Plan ahead -- it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.


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