- SUBURBIA: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
- PLUMBER: A drain surgeon
- ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
- BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
- CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
- CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
- COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
- DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
- EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
- GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
- HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
- INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
- MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
- RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
- SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
- TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
- TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
- YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
- WRINKLES: Something other people have. We have character lines.