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Norm Peterson

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"Can I draw you a beer Norm?"
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."

"How's a beer sound Norm?"
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."

"What's shaking Norm?"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."

"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
"Going down?"

"What's new Normie?"
"Terrorists Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."

"What'd you like Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

"What'd you say Norm?"
"Any cheap tawdry thing that will get me a beer."

"Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."

"How's life treating you?"
"It's not Sammy, but you can."

"Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

"What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here'."

"Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
"Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"

"Whatcha up to Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

"Women. Can't live with 'em . . . pass the beer nuts."

"What's going down Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

"Pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one . . . make that one-thirty."

"What's the story Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"How's about a beer, Norm?"
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"

"What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."

"Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."


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