Smiles and Grins Humor

Yogi Berra

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Hey Yogi, they’ve elected a Jewish mayor in Dublin, Ireland.
It could only happen in America.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

I want to thank all those who made this night necessary.

You give a hundred percent in the first half of the game, and if it isn’t enough, in the second half you give what’s left.

Mantle’s a switch hitter because he’s amphibious.

How can you say this and that when this and that hsn’t happened yet?

If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.

Hey Yogi, what’s your cap size?
I don’t know, I’m not in shape yet.

He is a big clog in their machine.

Slump? I ain’t in no slump; I just ain’t hitting.

I got a touch of pantomime poisoning.

If I didn’t wake up, I’d still be sleeping.

How can you think and hit at the same time?

Hey Yogi, why are the Yankees doing so poorly this year?
I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.

Hey Yogi, why are you wearing those gloves?
I’m wearing these gloves for my hands.

Yogi on 20 Questions:
“Is he living?”
“Yes.”
“Is he living now?”

Hey Yogi, why did you buy life insurance?
I’ll get it when I die.

Hey Yogi, what would you do if you found a million dollars?
I’d find the fellow who lost it, and if he was poor, I’d return it.

Steve McQueen must have made that before he died.

You’ve got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.

It’s never happened in a World Series competition, and it still hasn’t.

Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.

If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.


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