Smiles and Grins Humor

Yogi Berra

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Hey Yogi, theyíve elected a Jewish mayor in Dublin, Ireland.
It could only happen in America.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

I want to thank all those who made this night necessary.

You give a hundred percent in the first half of the game, and if it isnít enough, in the second half you give whatís left.

Mantleís a switch hitter because heís amphibious.

How can you say this and that when this and that hsnít happened yet?

If you canít imitate him, donít copy him.

Hey Yogi, whatís your cap size?
I donít know, Iím not in shape yet.

He is a big clog in their machine.

Slump? I ainít in no slump; I just ainít hitting.

I got a touch of pantomime poisoning.

If I didnít wake up, Iíd still be sleeping.

How can you think and hit at the same time?

Hey Yogi, why are the Yankees doing so poorly this year?
I wish I had an answer to that because Iím tired of answering that question.

Hey Yogi, why are you wearing those gloves?
Iím wearing these gloves for my hands.

Yogi on 20 Questions:
ďIs he living?Ē
ďIs he living now?Ē

Hey Yogi, why did you buy life insurance?
Iíll get it when I die.

Hey Yogi, what would you do if you found a million dollars?
Iíd find the fellow who lost it, and if he was poor, Iíd return it.

Steve McQueen must have made that before he died.

Youíve got to be careful if you donít know where youíre going, because you might not get there.

Itís never happened in a World Series competition, and it still hasnít.

Nobody goes there anymore; itís too crowded.

If you ask me anything I donít know, Iím not going to answer.

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