Believe It Or Not

Jokes Central
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  1. There's no experiment that is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a very bad example.
  2. Live so your friends can defend you but never have to.
  3. Most families use credit cards for everything. The only one who still pays in cash is the tooth fairy.
  4. The advantage of studying history is that it keeps you from feeling too important.
  5. The easiest way to find a use for something is to throw it out.
  6. Flattery is now called "artificial sweetener".
  7. This year about the only thing not enriched, fortified, or reinforced is money.
  8. Fishing is the art of doing almost nothing.
  9. Politeness is like an air cushion. There may be nothing in it but it eases the jolt.
  10. Money isn't everything, according to those who have it.
  11. He who makes the same mistake over and over again learns to do at least one thing well.
  12. If water pollution gets any worse, walking on it will be a cinch.
  13. A good friend is like a tube of tooth-paste -- comes through in a tight squeeze.
  14. To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it.
  15. To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer!
  16. Anybody can win-unless there happens to be a second entry.
  17. Some people are as non-political as a pair of socks: neither right nor left.
  18. Secret: something either not worth keeping or to good to keep.
  19. Even it the good five-cent cigar of another time makes a comeback, the problem is to find a place to smoke it.
  20. A TV special is one that comes on instead of the one you stayed home to see.


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