Believe It Or Not

1. Establish an emergency fund and you'll be surprised at how quickly an emergency arises.
2. An auction sale is where you get something for nodding.
3. Hope: Enjoyment of the future in advance.
4. A bit of advice: Say nothing often.
5. Bad manners are like bad teeth. Nobody knows you have them if you keep your mouth shut.
6. With some people a clear conscience is nothing more than a poor memory.
7. Computers are great. They make lots of mistakes, but when they do, it's nobody's fault.
8. It's no longer just the principle of the thing. It's the interest.
9. When you give a small child his first hammer, the whole world becomes a nail.
10. A fisherman is a person who thinks a fish ought to bite on a fancy lure because he did.
11. If it takes two to make a bargin, why is it only one gets it?
12. The early bird gets the worm but only if the fisherman doesn't beat him to it.
13. If a man's wife is his "better half", and he marries twice, what happens to him mathematically.
14. The quickest way to stop gossip is for everybody to shut up.
15. Forbidden fruit is responsible for many a bad jam.
16. Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
17. A nickel goes a long way nowdays. You can carry one for days before you find anything it will buy.
18. Silence isn't always golden -- sometimes it's just plain yellow.
19. Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
20. When you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper.